Now will you tell me how to make a woman squirt?

We’ll get there very soon, but first, there’s something you should know. Porn has led us to believe that squirting is a lot more common than it actually is, and when a woman squirts, she’s able to shoot yards across the room. However, the truth is only between 10-54% of women can squirt, according to a 2013 review published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. And most of the time, women don’t “shoot” like they do in porn.

“There are many misconceptions about squirting,” says Lola Jean, a sex educator and self-proclaimed “Olympic Squirter.” “Given it is a heavily under researched topic and misunderstood act, this is not surprising. You may be surprised to learn that most of the time squirt does not ‘eject’ from the body with force, but rather falls.”

What is squirting, anyway?

When some people with a vulva are sufficiently aroused, they’re able to “squirt” a clear-ish liquid through their urethra-kinda like how people with a penis are able to ejaculate, except in this case, the process has nothing to do with reproduction.

Squirting fluid can come out in a variety of volumes. “It doesn’t mean you did a better job if there was more fluid,” Jean says.

Is squirt the same as pee?

Since the liquid expelled during squirting comes through the urethra, lots of people wonder if their partners are just, well, peeing. Not quite: a 2011 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine study found that most people’s squirt is watered-down urine, sometimes including a tiiiiny bit of female ejaculate, a white, milk-like substance produced in the Skene’s glands.

Almost. Before you get down to business, ask yourself: who is this for? “Squirting isn’t always accompanied by an orgasm and not everyone finds it pleasurable,” Jean says.

Do you want your partner to squirt for their sake, since you want them to have the most pleasurable sexual experience possible? Or do you want them to squirt for your ego? If it’s the latter, then you and your partner shouldn’t attempt squirting. You’ll likely end up putting way too much pressure on her that she won’t remotely enjoy the sexual experience. So, ask your partner if it is something they are interested in and find out why it is appealing to them.

Getting your partner aroused is the first step in squirting.

Turning your partner on will prime their body for squirting. “Arousal will not only engorge the perennial sponge and the urethral sponge making then more receptive to touch, but it will also help build up fluids in the Bartholin’s glands (largely responsible for vaginal lubrication) and paraurethral glands (largely responsible for urethral lubrication),” Jean says.

Arousal can occur from g-spot penetration, clitoral stimulation, digital fingering, oral sex, P-in-V sex, anal sex, or frankly, anything else that gets your partner hot and bothered.

Pro tip: if you’re both new to this, resist the urge to put a towel down in anticipation of a waterfall. That’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on your partner who’s never squirted before. Now, if your partner already knows they’re a champion squirter, then feel free to prep for cleanup in advance!

Once they’re aroused, ramp up clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

Every person is different when it comes to squirting. Some people need firm g-spot stimulation. Others need soft clitoral circling. Some women can even squirt without any direct stimulation to their vulva. Because of this, there are various techniques you can try. You can and should explore various methods with your partner, and of course, listen to whatever they say.